Strictly Dancing: Extremely Annoying

Strictly Dancing, ABC TV

Ballroom dancing has experienced an upsurge in popularity since the Australian film Strictly Ballroom was released in the 90s.

The ABC has jumped on the bandwagon with a commendable show thoughtfully entitled Strictly Dancing. OK, 1 out of 10 for originality. What do you expect for eight cents a day?

Anyway, the program showcases a succession of eager young couples looking for their big ballroom dancing break. They're put to the test with a series of searching dance assignments, qualified dance judges rating them on their technique. At the climax of each episode, their scores may be boosted or toppled by a mysterious, apparently indefinable showbiz commodity entitled 'the X- factor'. The ABC's originality comes into play again.

In general, the standard of the dancers' performances is very high. What a shame the same can't be said for the standard of commentary.

Paul McDermott does an adequate, if slightly forced turn as compere. In the interests of raising a chuckle, he is unafraid to put himself in situations that would humiliate a more precious host. McDermott ploughs on unabashed. His weakness, betrayed by his uncertain delivery, is in his interviewing technique. The moment he begins asking post-tango questions of the night's winning couple, you feel he wishes he hadn't. Thankfully, the interlude, like a bad prawn, usually passes quickly but unpleasantly.

These flat spots can be cheerfully ignored in the interests of watching the considerable talent on display.

What can't be overlooked, however, is the endless, asinine carping of two unseen commentators whose role it is, apparently, to distract viewers from the actual dancing so that we can all more fully appreciate the sparkling personalities of these disembodied voices.

What they should be doing, of course, is helping to enlighten those viewers who aren't conversant with the finer points of ballroom dancing. What they are doing, of course, is enlarging their own already bloated egos without adding one jot to the enjoyment of the event.

The ABC publicists would say they are there to provide a counterpoint to the serious business of dance and competition, to ensure the program benefits from both light and shade.

Of course, they are not.

They simply cannot wait for the music to begin so that they can open the floodgates for their stream of mindless, ill-considered babble. The female voice, Angela Gilltrap, used to confine herself to technical appraisals of the dancers' techniques, a task for which she is admirably qualified. But of late she has begun to assume the irritating habits of her male counterpart, Lex Marinos.

Lex's acting career reached its zenith several decades ago, in a minor role as the son-in-law of Ted Bullpitt on Kingswood Country. Since then, he has moved through theatre, film, TV and radio, achieving some plaudits as a director. Good on him. In his lengthy online biography, he lists his current occupation as 'events coordinator' for the Wagga Wagga City Council. But nowhere does it boast that Lex enjoys any qualifications in dance.

In which case, might it not be advisable for him to shut the hell up and allow us to enjoy someone who does?

If Lex's asides and interjections were amusing, and believe me when I say they are not, he might be tolerable. In any case, one might reasonably assume that viewers specifically seeking light relief might not make a dance program their first port of call.

Marinos is snide, patronising, and, most unforgivably, unfunny. He fails in his primary task, that is, to make us laugh. In the context of the program, he is inappropriate and superfluous.

His criticisms give every indication that they have been recorded and dubbed over the dance footage after the judging has been completed. This, of course, allows him to tailor his comments accordingly - praise for the winners, smartarse denigration of the rest. If this is, as it appears, what happens, it is cowardly and unfair.

Take your ego and your attempts at drollery, Lex, and stop polluting what is otherwise an admirable show. Wagga beckons.